I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
