how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
