party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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