That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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