whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We need a shit load of segways right now
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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