so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
