I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
