So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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