So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
