I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
