what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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