Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
