Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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