nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's shark week go big or go home
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
