We should be called the Road Head Warriors
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
