I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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