Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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