She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
