i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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