a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
