Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
