My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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