You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
