This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
