I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
