Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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