i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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