I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
