So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
