I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
