i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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