I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This is classic penis vs brain.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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