letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
