Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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