so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
