we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
