Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Randomize
