the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
