dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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