i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
