She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
