Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
