this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
