Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
