just survived the first fart of the relationship.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
