just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
