Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
