No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
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