How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
