Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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