when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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