hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
