Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just blew my weed a kiss
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
