i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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