we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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