I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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