i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I love you. Go after that dick
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
