Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
