There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
