you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize