Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
